


And, Did You Know, Dean Winchester?

by HeartsandThumbs



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Comfort, M/M, POV Castiel, Pining Castiel, Sad and Sweet, Sleeping Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 16:35:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17666162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartsandThumbs/pseuds/HeartsandThumbs
Summary: And sometimes love is given blindly, in hopes it may be returned. One day, somehow, in time.[Or]The one where Castiel comforts a sleeping Dean with a truth that he doesn't see.





	And, Did You Know, Dean Winchester?

Watching Dean sleep had become a bit of a security blanket for Castiel, who didn't sleep himself, but delighted in the moments where Dean's features softened and turned into one of the more breathtaking wonders of the world. There were so many beautiful things that Dean had given him, and he wanted to do the same.  He wasn’t sure what he could give back. For him, the man had shown him a whole rainbow spectrum of color in what had once been a black and white world. He taught him every emotion fathomable. He knew, because Dean also made him feel those emotions nearly daily- happiness, joy, fear, regret, pain...and...there was one more. Love. That was something. Something he wanted to give Dean. But, chance after chance passed, moment after moment gone too soon without success.

“So, I’ll just wait here for you, then,” Castiel mused quietly. Dean let out a soft snore in reply, and Castiel drew his hand back just a little, until Dean slipped back into what the angel hoped were beautiful and serene dreams, of what happiness might look like for the hunter, in the world he had deserved from the start. 

Small, wet droplets pelted the Castiel's dress pants in succession, first, starting like a sprinkle in the early seasons, and giving way quickly to a rainstorm. Still, he smiled, not understanding the emotion of both happiness and joy that he’d been the one to raise Dean from perdition, the one to find him, the one to fall...in every way imaginable; and, utmost sorrow at how guarded the hunter was still. “I’ll wait for you, Dean,” he explained gently to the sleeping man, “Until you’re ready. Until I can prove to you that there is good in this world, and that you are a cause of it. Until I can prove to you that you, as much if not more than the rest of them, deserve to be saved. Until then, I will keep you as close as I can. I think you know that.”

The angel’s fingers traced over Dean’s strong cheekbone, gently, as though he were fragile. He was human, of course he was...even if he would never admit it, even if he sought to break and to destroy himself at every chance imaginable. “I want to tell you a truth. You humans call it a secret.” Castiel knelt by the bedside. His trousers would be dusty when he stood up. He didn’t care. “I’m in love with you, Dean Winchester. You’re a miracle. You don’t see it, but I do. The rest of the world does. You’re beautiful. You’re kind. You’re gentle, even though you hide it. And you do like chick flicks,” the angel grinned, musing to himself about the time he and Dean had watched  _ Ever After _ because ‘there was nothing else on’, and Dean had teared up at the end. “You’re compassionate, you’re good...and you’ve changed the entire course of the world. And Dean, you’re so loved. Not just by me. So, let me wait. You’re worth it. I knew it the second I raised you from Hell. I haven’t stopped falling in love with you. I need you to know that it’s okay. It’s okay to cry, it’s alright to have moments where you don’t feel strong. It doesn’t mean you’re not, and no one thinks that. It’s okay if you can’t save the entire world, every time. It doesn’t all fall on you. It’s okay, Dean. It’s okay.”

The words, and the tears slipped so freely, that Castiel felt his heart crunching in his chest. Even here, as close as he would get to the heavily-guarded Dean Winchester, with, as Sam would put it, ‘a wall the freaking size of China’ (whatever that meant), all he wanted to do was pull him closer- for Dean to let him in just a little bit more. He didn’t need to take up much space. His true form was much larger than this human vessel. He imagined he could shrink his way into a corner of Dean’s heart if it was what Dean wanted. Maybe from there, Dean’s self-loathing would become infected with the angel’s love. Maybe it would spread. Maybe...just maybe, the hunter would see himself as the outside world did. 

If Castiel could shrink down, just that tiny bit in that space, he’d be content. He could hold Dean there, whisper these things to his conscious mind, provide warmth and stable arms for Dean to lean into if it got to be too much. Maybe then he’d know that he wasn’t alone, and hadn’t been from the beginning. 

If he could take that small space, and turn it into a home inside Dean Winchester’s heart, he was almost certain that the hunter would start expanding the space, and that the two of them could be happy there. Castiel knew his heart already...it was a bigger space than Dean would ever credit himself for.

“I’ll wait, Dean. I’ll wait for you.”

The hunter shifted into the empty space in the bed, rubbing his eyes, “Cas?”

Nothing. Emptiness.

Castiel rest against the door to Dean’s room, hand over his chest, feeling a beating, human heart, and sinking against the door- a literal wall between them, “Let me in…” he whispered, pleading to something...some power greater than his father. “Please, Dean. I’m right here. Please…”


End file.
